BREAKING: Heavyweight Bout Ends in Chaos After Fighter Attempts Flying Kick… From Outside the Cage

According to officials, Magalhães misheard a staff member who said “you’re up next” as “jump next,” prompting him to sprint toward the octagon, leap onto the door, and crash into the referee, two cameramen, and a popcorn vendor.

The popcorn vendor remains the only undefeated individual involved.

His opponent, Uzbek rising star Kamil “Snow Leopard” Rakhimov, stood inside the cage watching the incident unfold with “the same energy as someone waiting for the bus,” according to ringside reporters.

Officials declared the fight a No Contest, despite Rakhimov’s repeated insistence that he had “clearly won by emotional damage.”

Promoter Silvio Dresden held a press conference shortly after the debacle, stating:

“Look, we’ve had illegal knees, groin shots, even someone attempting a Hadouken once… but a pre-fight, off-cage flying kick is new territory for us.”

Magalhães later apologized publicly, blaming the mishap on his pre-fight meal:

“I think the feijoada was too heavy. I wasn’t myself. Gravity felt negotiable.”

The Athletic Commission is expected to review the incident next week, though insiders say they are still “trying not to laugh.”